Sunday, January 30, 2011

i want to cry, but i dont...

Truth succumbs everyone. Someday.
i go to the beach all by myself... with the urge to face the truth... i follow the undisturbed foot prints of the crows i don't even see often, with immense belief. no doubt that they'll lead me to the journey i desire....
i slowly listen the wet shore gushing loudly, with all it's grace. the sound becomes louder. in no time the sound raises to such a volume that a 50 yr young father who was sitting next to me, watching his 19yr old son standing amidst the waves, humming "purani jeans aur guitar...", i could hear him. the waves got louder wen a blue butterfly crosses. tossing my left ear.. i was lost. i went back to my days when amma told me "attipapppa (my maternal uncle) was the one who gave u ur name." memories are very strange. and so is life. and so am i!! he's no more now... i want to cry, but i don't! the last time i was hit by the same feeling was wen i was trying to give appa the tighest of all hugs, i've ever given him and he refuses to get indulged. i want to cry, but i don't. is it the disappointment that's bothering me?? or is it the attitude, my attitude that i carefully took pains to shape, that tellls me, "try and understand the system, it's frequency. you'll know what it is..." this was new to me! i thought i knew everyhting about myself.

i suddenly come out of the loud cluster of memories, the father n son had vanished, wen the waves get bigger, gently caress my feet n slide back. i continue to look at the big sea, so vast, right in front of me.
i suddenly look at the horizon... i follow the horizon... from west of it, trough it, to the east of it... with a sudden realization i look around at the farthest places all around.. making a 360 degree glance. i realize that the earth's actually round in shape!! for me to realiz3 that it's an oblate spheroid, wil take much more time n interest but,
i'm sure i'll find sense in what the attitude tried to tel ....
Truth succumbs everyone. Someday.

3 comments:

  1. We all have to succumb to truth... after all it is the only thing that remains unchanged.. well atleast as long as we don't change the reference :)

    Moreover assimilation into a system is not falling into it - it is just understanding the frequency of the system. If one says one has to change his attitude to suit the society, its like telling I have to forget English to learn French!! You just have to stop thinking in English for a while....

    And Well if you are France you might as well drink in some wine.....

    Marina, open mind, problems is a deadly combination - welcome aboard!

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  2. :D correct... assimilation IS the right word!!
    anna we are notorious for deadly combinations :D

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