Sunday, January 30, 2011

i want to cry, but i dont...

Truth succumbs everyone. Someday.
i go to the beach all by myself... with the urge to face the truth... i follow the undisturbed foot prints of the crows i don't even see often, with immense belief. no doubt that they'll lead me to the journey i desire....
i slowly listen the wet shore gushing loudly, with all it's grace. the sound becomes louder. in no time the sound raises to such a volume that a 50 yr young father who was sitting next to me, watching his 19yr old son standing amidst the waves, humming "purani jeans aur guitar...", i could hear him. the waves got louder wen a blue butterfly crosses. tossing my left ear.. i was lost. i went back to my days when amma told me "attipapppa (my maternal uncle) was the one who gave u ur name." memories are very strange. and so is life. and so am i!! he's no more now... i want to cry, but i don't! the last time i was hit by the same feeling was wen i was trying to give appa the tighest of all hugs, i've ever given him and he refuses to get indulged. i want to cry, but i don't. is it the disappointment that's bothering me?? or is it the attitude, my attitude that i carefully took pains to shape, that tellls me, "try and understand the system, it's frequency. you'll know what it is..." this was new to me! i thought i knew everyhting about myself.

i suddenly come out of the loud cluster of memories, the father n son had vanished, wen the waves get bigger, gently caress my feet n slide back. i continue to look at the big sea, so vast, right in front of me.
i suddenly look at the horizon... i follow the horizon... from west of it, trough it, to the east of it... with a sudden realization i look around at the farthest places all around.. making a 360 degree glance. i realize that the earth's actually round in shape!! for me to realiz3 that it's an oblate spheroid, wil take much more time n interest but,
i'm sure i'll find sense in what the attitude tried to tel ....
Truth succumbs everyone. Someday.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

She loves... :)

she loves the way water runs through the easopahgus inside, when she's just got a window seat and the bus is jam-packed!
she loves the way she recalls herself admiring the gargling sound, of her baby nephew, beautifully making it's appearence in the middle of his loud cry...
she loves the way it rains outside.
she loves it when it dawns upon her that the window beside her, that's closed, is as clean as the pouring rain, outside.
she loves the way the window pane turns moist.
she loves the way  she recalls her glasses steaming up while gently blowing hot coffee and the way it disappears as swiftly as it came!
she loves the way she gets reminded of Amir saying "aal iz well"....
And she loves the way she draws a smiley on that moist window pane... :)
when she finally sets herself free from all the stares and scoldings she managed to earn while boarding the running bus !!